Tom and the Pant Suit

Late Sunday night, my interaction with my fellow study-abroad students began with a knock on my dorm. Answering it, I was faced by Sean, pizza slice in one hand, the other extended in greeting. Introducing myself, I was glad to finally be encountering the other students and we took off for the quad where a movie was being shown. There, I met the whole bunch of students and was told that I was the "odd man out". Everyone had been around for a few days and I was the only one who they had yet to meet.

The evening consisted largely of standing around, talking, idly knocking a soccer ball around and discussing post-film plans. I decided to pass on the evening's events and get some sleep. We all had to be up early and I wanted to be fresh.

I peeled myself out of bed at 6:15 and dragged my ass from my bed to the shower, from the shower to my wardrobe and from there to the Admin building. I was the first one to arrive and so I sat unthinkingly until my fellow Clinton Scholars began arriving. The purpose of this meeting was to go to Abu Dhabi, the neighboring emirate (city), to hear Hillary Clinton speak. She had requested our presence because we are all going to AUD courtesy of her husband's scholarship foundation.

We made it to Zayed University outside of Abu Dhabi in the nick of time and whisked through security and into the foyer. There, we were met by the PR liason for Mrs. Clinton. He looked like this guy:

Photo suggestion courtesy of Michael

Imagine what sort of voice you think this guy would have and you've got a pretty complete picture. He told us that we would have approximately 5 to 10 seconds (not kidding) with Mrs. Clinton for a photo and then she'd be on her way. That plan lasted all of four minutes - the photo was moved to the following day - and soon we were hustled into an auditorium and shown a row of seats near the front. We sat for a long time, eavesdropping on the Emiratis seated around us and talking amongst ourselves. I had an interesting conversation with Michael, another American student, about his service in Iraq but this discussion was soon interrupted by the entrance of the press corps.

While photojournalism has always fascinated me with its opportunities for travel and meeting new people, the aspect of being a "paparazzi" turns me off. Within the span of a few moments, a clamoring, shouting bunch of photographers burst through the doors to the auditorium, barely contained by their handlers. They clung together in a tight bunch, each indistinguishable from one another on account of their matching work attire, dangling straps and professional-looking press passes. Occasionally, an arm with a camera attached to the end would shoot up from the middle of the group like a renegade fish temporarily separated from its school. It would quickly click-click-click a few shots and then retract back into the teeming mass from which it came. Gradually, this organism worked its way down to the front of the auditorium where it continued to shoot pictures at random. The sound of idle chit-chat that had filled the hall was replaced with the cicada-like drone of shutter actuations from the press corps. Then it was our turn to act as a group. Seemingly without prompt, the entire auditorium rose to its collective feet. This, apparently, was a sign of respect for the world's biggest mustache which was making its way down the center aisle. As it passed my row, I noticed there was a man attached to it. His Royal Highness, sheikh so-and-so of the Ministry of something-or-other (and his entire entourage) took up seats in the front row and we all sat down again. Then, the press corps began shooting in earnest. In what can most closely be compared to complicated mating rituals found in the animal kingdom, the press corps began showing off its flashiest aspects. Bulbs popped unceasingly as the press corps swarmed around the shiekh , attempting to win his approval with their ornate display of lights and sounds. As things sometimes go in the animal world, the best display simply isn't impressive enough and the press corps, noticing the sheikh's disinterest, eventually gave up. Good timing too, as it was time for Hillary to show up.

"Hilarity" took one of the comfy looking chairs on the stage as the hosts assumed positions on either side of her. As the show got underway, it became clear we were at the recording of a TV show called. According to the AP: "Clinton made her comments on the program "Sweet Talk," often described as the Arabic version of "The View," hosted by three women. The hosts of "The View" have nothing on "Sweet Talk" in the looks department. Arabic culture may have a tendency to be more conservative when it comes to presenting female beauty but its understandable when the women in your culture are this hot. I'd do my best to keep that to myself, too. The hosts weren't messing around either. Hilarity was forced to field tough questions about Israel, American culture, and Iran's nuclear program and, to her credit, she did a good job of it. As a speaker, she isn't as eloquent as I imagined someone of her status to be, but she was very diplomatic. Despite this, the LA Times managed to take one of her comments and turn it around as an analogy between the recent shooting in Arizona and terrorism. That's not what she meant at all, but the article unsurprisingly neglects to mention her comments on how the American media isn't doing any favors for the world's perceptions of the US.

Eventually, the interview ended, and we all got up to leave. On the way out, we met a few of the students from Zayed University. The male students wore long white attire with traditional headdress. They were sure to inform us, "We don't dress like this all the time. Don't think we are squares".

Duly noted, my friend.

Back at campus, I manged to attend my first class, Special Topics in Middle Eastern Studies: The Levant. If you're like me, and don't know what the Levant is, its the area of present day Syria, Lebanon and Israel. Other countries are in the region as well, but you get the idea. The course is a history of the area and based on the first day's structure, will be a challenge. The professor is smart, strict and not afraid to speak his mind to students. One student's answer wasn't satisfactory for him so he offered to throw him out the window the next time the student answered wrong. It's hard to gauge the professor's seriousness but what he lacks in size, I'm sure he makes up for in willpower. I kept my head down for the entirety of the session except for when the professor asked what the Middle East's biggest problem is right now.

Someone offered, "America".

That made me look up.